So you wanna quit?

[BoredOMK17]

Please dude,
Take a look at any other webtease.
What was missing from yours?

That wasn't a webtease at all. That wasn't even a sexy story.
I went through like 40 pages, and every one had a different girl on it.
The pictures were all different sizes, from HUGE to tiny.
Every page had ONE sentence, and NO jerk instructions.


Let me break this to you easy man..
That was a horrible, horrible attempt.

You should definitely ask someone to proof read your teases.
And please, use the same girl.

[SexualChoc]

Perhaps you wanted to quit the tease bored?

First off finding more the 5 pictures of a model is not always that easy
especially if you want almost all of your photos to have that upskirt
focus on the panty look to them,
I agree using multiple models can be a bit annoying

I guess you don't like Story teases either
if you check there are a few teases here without stroke instructions.
(Actually the tease has a cum instruction-- but no stroke instructions- hmmmmm)
for anouther example of a no stroke tease here is Bad Boy (see link)
http://www.milovana.com/webteases/showt ... 3055&p=1#t

I see this story tease as more as a self declaration of fidelity to milovana
which is in a way a beautiful thing.

[StupidBoy18]

The overall idea of this tease is not horrible. The author is simply stating a fantasy of someone who realizes they have an "addiction" to the website, but can never escape it because they need it like they need to breathe.

It could be a diamond in the rough. All it really needs is a few better photos and some corrected spelling.

T

[johnwhite]

I didn't read the tease. The first turn off was the all caps of a stupid title and then seeing a ranking of 2.9. Was this a serious tease or a joke?

[androgyme]

I agree with StupidBoy. The idea for the tease is definitely sound. Perhaps, as others have stated, confine the tease to one or two models and add some more interaction (stroking instructions, and what not) as the girl/s taunt you with your inability to quit Milovana. I know I'd read that tease.

[vulnerable]

well.. thanks for the appreciations to all of you
it's my first (tease? confession? joke maybe?) and i'm french so excuse for the spelling and all...
i can't write so well
but i feel it's encouraging to see some reaction from you (especially of course from who think it was not a bad idea)
maybe if sometimes you want quit this virtual and so addicting exciting world of dream women and you realize you can't (except maybe by trying to build some tease that means something else than just stroke and stroke etc)
well.. you might appreciate
i will try another one and try to improve
thanks again
vulnerable

[cactusman]

well.. thanks for the appreciations to all of you
it's my first (tease? confession? joke maybe?) and i'm french so excuse for the spelling and all...
i can't write so well
but i feel it's encouraging to see some reaction from you (especially of course from who think it was not a bad idea)
maybe if sometimes you want quit this virtual and so addicting exciting world of dream women and you realize you can't (except maybe by trying to build some tease that means something else than just stroke and stroke etc)
well.. you might appreciate
i will try another one and try to improve
thanks again
vulnerable

I think the main problem is that you seem to have uploaded thumbnails instead of full size pictures for many of the pictures in your tease. This is probably a simple mistake, but needs correcting. And on page 60 you spelled "mistress" wrong as "mitress", which really ruins the effect there. All of these can still be corrected in the editor.

Try looking at the "webteasing for dummies" post (http://www.milovana.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=44), which has lots of good tips (even some from me).

[indica]

i really enjoyed it, seemed eerily relevant to me (until the 47 year old thing heh).
eagerly looking forward to your next, vulnerable :P

[BoredOMK17]

Okay so I was kind of harsh. I must have been hitting the sauce.
Vulnerable, I don't think it was a horrible tease.
I just think you could have tried harder. If English was your first language I'd still tell you you did a terrible job, but since theirs a language barrier, I can understand the bad grammar.

However,
I think you can improve on some KEY points. Make sure all pictures are around the same size. Small pictures are a real turn off, and pull the reader right out of the false reality of the tease. Also, try to write more per page, and give stroke instructions. One sentence per page isn't fun. You have to keep clicking. No stroke instructions isn't fun, because you never know what you should be doing... And it feels cold without stroke instruction, like the girl isn't really talking to you.

The IDEA for the tease was GREAT, I will agree with all of my milovonian friends.
Just try to stick to the same girl, and if your going to switch girls halfway through, have the first girl introduce you to the second, you cant just switch girls and write as if its the same girl. Thats a HUGE pet peve a lot of us readers have.

So if you want to write good teases, write good teases.
I highly recommend you write some in your native language as well, that'd be great.
But if you write in English, follow the above steps, and try to get someone to proof read.

Have a good one!

[masterstroke]

Tout d'abord, votre anglais est meilleur que beaucoup de people' ; Français de s
(First of all, your English is better than many people's French)

I don't speak French so I used the translator Babel Fish for my French translation. I can forgive some of the language errors, especially if English is not your first language. I can speak and read some German but there is no way I could write a tease in German.

As Cactusman said, if you uploaded full size pictures rather than thumbnails the tease would be more effective.

Also, if you are going to use multiple models, use them sequentially (séquentiellement) rather than randomly (aléatoirement). Keep the same model for a few frames and then change models. (Gardez le même modèle de quelques armatures et puis changez les modèles)

Finally, study teases you like and analyze why you like them. What makes it a good tease? Try to incorporate techniques you like into your next tease. Keep writing teases, not every tease will be a "4" or a "5". Not everyone is going to like your tease. Good luck on you next tease.

[cactusman]

The new version is much better! Thank you!