Diary: Days of Denial with Amy

[Tobias23]

(edit): Spoiler warning!
The reports each day will contain spoilers about the series.

Dear Milovanians,

I'm in heat! I've been horny all day these past few days, even though I enjoyed quite a lot of orgasms. I've even taken on a camslave to satisfy my dominant side. But my submissive side has been starved, as it is not so easy to find a Dom/me. So today I decided to fully commit to a webtease series, to satisfy that submissve part inside me, and to put a stop to my out of control masturbation.

I've done the Surrender into Chastity series, it was my favorite so far! I was looking for something not too long, otherwise I probably would have tried a month with jana or giving up control. I wanted a flashtease too, they feel more comfortable, eg. I don't have to keep track of timers, also hidden timers are so much fun! Anyways long list of choices, and days of denial with amy had VERY high raitings, and it has been on my eyes for years (just peaked into the first tease a couple of times). So there it is, my first attempt to finish this series for real.

Why do I intend to write this public journal?

To be honest, to keep myself from cheating. I hate for people to see me fail, and after writing this big introduction it would be humiliating to admit failure and giving up. In that way it forces me to stick with this series until the end.

The second reason is, I want to share my journey with someone. I can't tell my reallife friends about it, so I am reaching out in an anonymous way, but publicly enough since I've had this account for years, and before that on od.com, so I am known to some.

Limits

Before I start I always set myself some limits. I expect the tease to be resonable, so I don't have to mention normal limits. I try to think of things that often occur in teases, which I can't do for some reasons:
- kneeling (medical issue, not to long on a pillow is ok though)
- public outing (if its hidden it's okay, like wearing a thong or buttplug, but not putting on a womans dress)
- visible marks (anything that can't be hidden by my swimming trunks, eg. can't write slut on my chest)
- buying new toys (I got a big collection, including 3 chastity belts, I spent way too much money on it already, I don't want to give myself excuses to buy more)

---

Well thats all for now I think, I will be posting reports on a daily basis. I'll take a shower now, I want to be clean and smell good for my first day with Amy :) (and dive into the fantasy)

(edit:)
Spoiler warning!
The reports each day will contain spoilers about the series.

[Tobias23]

Day 1
http://www.milovana.com/webteases/showflash.php?id=4698

What an intense first day to start this series. As mentioned in my Introduction I already peaked at the first few pages of this tease from time to time. I love the rules, being in chastity while not with Amy, keeps me in check. Also I'm allowed to stop during forced stroking session, to avoid accidents. I do like a 'don't stop stroking'-stamina challenge, but this way ensures there won't be any cum leaving my balls without Amy's approval.

Getting hard for her was easy, as I already was hard the moment I started the tease. But instead of a long stroking session, she soon made clear who is in charge with some intense ball squeezing. I loved the mixture of pain and pleasure she put me through, and my balls took quite a beating for a first day. All the edging inbetween made me endure the pain.

Gosh to be honest I am a bit afraid, I felt pushed towards my limits of pain, of what I can endure on my balls. I am afraid that if this is day one, how much more cruel will she get as the time goes on. Yes afraid to fail, but even more honestly excited about the challenge!

My nipples got some taste of her dominance too, but I can take alot there, so that bit of clothespegging felt sweet compared to the ball torture. And then came the palming! O M G, I am not circumsized and my cockhead is quite sensitive, very very sensitive, being force to palm it makes me squirm in an instant! I never palm on my own, NEVER, and I felt so submissive being force to do it!

And after all that she wanted me to put on some icy hot on my cockhead. I had to improvise as I don't own a Icyhot bottle, and it's not easily available here. I went with some extra minty toothpaste, which burns hot and cold in its own way, but I think not as strongly as icyhot. Anyone knows if she intents to use this more often in this series? If so I have to try to get some.

At the end my balls ached alot, and they were relieved the session ended. My cock on the other hand was eager to play longer, aching to be stroked over and over again. Took me awhile to calm down enough and get him soft enough to fit into the chastity belt. (As a 'grower' I use a very tiny tube and ring, otherwise I can slip out.)

After writing this report my balls feel ok again, bit sensitive but no pain, so I know all is safe and good. My cock is straining against this unwelcome prision. And I feel glad about this decisions to submit to a webtease series, I feel submissive and good in a way. Without Amy I would have been jerking of to orgasm a few times, but now, it's my first day without orgasm in a long time.

Gosh what have i done! :D

[sub3604]

lol it is a good tease to do and when you have done there is more days of denial with Amy to do after.

I am currently doing surrender into chastity except the gaps are more than a day as I am using carlilock. I shake a 6 sided dice and a 12 sided dice before each lock in then set the do not release before and maximum lock up to the days of these numbers and set lock in time to random and the view remaining time as sometimes

Then I shake a 8 sided dice to decide the penalty for looking at remaining time and a 6 sided for the votes. I just started 3 days ago though and am still locked but will be able to do part 2 soon. (was a 5 day max)

Have fun

[Tobias23]

Have fun with surrender into chastity! Part 4 was my favorite Tease of ALL TIME, the writing and choices and models and everything was perfect for me. Let me know what you think of it when you are there! But I was doing them one a day, as I am not that trained in chastity.

Thats the reason I wanted a shorter series and not something like 'a month with jana'. It's 6 days of denial with amy followed by another 9 days, and I do intent to do both. I guess there is a big finish with release at day 6 with the option to commit to more days with her, which I will probably accept. So six days of denial and then another set of nine seems doable. Well we will see about the amount of teasing :)

[sub3604]

I wanted a challenge and I like to have no access to the key. Although one day at a time might have been hard enough lol I have set my rules now so sticking to them. I just hope I don't roll any 12's You are likely to have finished both Amy teases before I finished the 5 parts of surrender. It has been a long time since I been locked up so it will certainly be a challenge lol I am dying to play already. I am sure you will have fun with Amy though Good luck getting though it.

[Tobias23]

Day 2
http://www.milovana.com/webteases/showflash.php?id=4699

I haven't been denied my orgasms in a while, and I got soooo used to jerking off at night, with only the fantasy of teasing and denial in my mind. No wonder the first night was really hard on me, after the first day without an orgasm in months. My cock tried to get hard several times, but was unable to so in his prison, thus waking me up a few times during the night. And my morning wood turned out to be a painful endeavor, as my cock wouldn't stop trying to get hard for several minutes!

I was pretty eager to start my second day with Amy, and it felt so good to let my cock out of it's cage on her command. But first things first, I had to shave my cock and balls on command, so I went in the bathroom. The tugging and pulling to reach every angle got me very aroused already, so I struggled throught he initial first stroking session, not to edge at the given speed.

But then came my first failure so far, I was told to palm my cockhead and edge by doing so. I couldn't edge that way, it's just too sensitive! So I endured a few minutes of palming, until my cock went soft from the pain, and then edged the normal way with stroking. I hope that compromise was ok, as there was no option to click for not being able to edge.

The rest of the session felt way longer than yesterday, so many edges, so much pain in my balls. And after being forced to watch ten minutes of my favorite porn, even my nipples began to hurt, as the clothespegs had been on there for some time. Yeah you can imagine the pain taking them off in the end ... outch. But that wasn't the worst pain I felt during this sesssion ...

The hardest part was when I had to punsh my balls once. Not slap, punsh! The first few tries my hand would just stop and slow down, afraid of the pain. I've seen videos of guys getting punshed or kicked in the balls, several times, so just one punsh wasn't an extreme or unreasonable order. Still I've never done it, my body was afraid of the pain and stopped my fist every time. I tried to relax, breathe, look into Amy's eyes for courage. I punched my stomach a few times, to get a feeling for the motion and speed, no problems there. A few more breaths and then I went for it again ... and did it! OMG that hurt!

Even while writing this there is alot of aching in my balls, still feeling the aftereffects of todays session! Amy does love some rough CBT, and has no mercy dishing out pain, while keeping me on the edge of orgasm over and over, not knowing what is worse, the pain or the denial. I love the intensity! And I am sure pushing my known limits here, and expanding them.

Still the worst part is being locked up afterwards, having to wait a whole day for her next session! And my experience tells me, that there will probably be a no touching day at some point, I already dread that day!

[sub3604]

Sounds like you got into it. I am still in my cage carlilock not let me out yet. But if you don't mind me posting.I will post what happens when it does particularly the next dice roll.

I did the Amy tease some time ago and remembered it was good but can't remember the details but then I wouldn't spoil it for you if I did.

[Tobias23]

Yes please no spoilers. The unknown is the most fun part, and I can only have that one time per webtease series. I'd wish I could have a MiB blitzthingy and forget about my surrender into chastity experience, and do that series all over again for the first time.

Even if you have random elements and different paths in a webtease, the second time will never be as exciting to me as the first. I've read most of the single teases in milo, yes read, some I just read for the fantasy and not to do them for real. But I always stay away from reading a series of webteases, so I can keep my option open to do them for real one day.

eg. I can see that ruindoh is writing alot of series with very very high rating, I'm very curious about them. I might me doing one of his series in the near future, if Amy doesn't wear me out too much :)

[sub3604]

I wouldn't give you any spoilers lol ruindoh does good teases though. You should check them out after Amy that is. I will post how I go on with surrender though if carlilock ever lets me out that is.

[Pontos]

nice diary so far. I've done this series and it was awesome. Happy suffering

[Tobias23]

Day 3
http://www.milovana.com/webteases/showflash.php?id=4700

I had a really, really hard time locking myself up after todays session. There is a part inside of me who just wants to cum, to enjoy an orgasm, to enjoy many orgasms. And that part doesn't care about my submissive side or about any rules, it just wants to get off! It's easier to control that part in Amy's presence, but it gets so much harder afterwards, and in the waiting time between sessions. I've hidden the key far enough away, so a short loss of control won't lead to my failure in this adventure.

But lets talk about todays session, which was different in a good and a bad way. What I liked was that Amy turned down the CBT for the day, and my balls are thankful for that. My nipples also got a days rest. Well I had to palm my cockhead again, but luckily not too long this time. I know Amy has a very sadistic side, and I suspect she will unleash that side of her again on me tomorrow. I am trying to mentally prepare for it.

What I didn't like about today was the exercise. Yes the physical workout she put me through. No I don't mind physical workouts, in fact I was excited when she mentioned it. Working out naked sounded great, my fantasies wandered towards my fleshlite, having to fuck it in difficult positions, pushing my stamina physically and sexually. But none of that happened.

The actual workout was rather dull, just a bunch of pushups, situps and squats with a bit of jogging inbetween. I am by no means well trained *looks at his belly*, and it got my heart rate rising in the end but it was waayyyy to short. I'm no expert, but I know you have to get your heart rate up and the intensity of the workout going for a longer time. Even the most intense workout won't burn any fat if you just keep going for a few minutes overall.

So yeah I was disappointed, I expected to be pushed to my limits in this workout, like she pushed my limits on pain the other days. Sadly it didn't happen. Well maybe one day I will get a supervised workout by a Mistress that pushes me hard. Something I look forwards too.

At the end of the session, and after a lot of edges and frustration, I was told to start Day 4 first thing in the moring, as she has a task for me tomorrow. I sooooo badly want to peak into tomorrows session, but I have to restrain my curiosity! Maybe I have to wear a buttplug for the day, so my ass is prepared for her session in the evening. I don't like anal, but every Mistress went for my ass at one point, so I learnt to accept it. Knowing how brutal she was to my balls, i fear her strapon session.

Gosh can someone make this day go by faster? I'm so curious, frustrated and horny as hell, vicious mix!

[Tobias23]

I wouldn't give you any spoilers lol ruindoh does good teases though. You should check them out after Amy that is. I will post how I go on with surrender though if carlilock ever lets me out that is.

Thanks. Though right now I need alot of strengh to keep in control, so thinking about a followup tease was a bit overdoing it. I will need some rest after Amy is done with me. And for your sake I hope you get to experience part two soon, though part 4 was the part I fell utterly in love with domTanya and her writing ^_^.

nice diary so far. I've done this series and it was awesome. Happy suffering

Thank you! Great to know people are reading and enjoying it. It's a big motivation for myself, thank you!

[Nezhul]

Good job so far, keep it up!

Unfortunately AMy's series is not for me - hate CBT.

[sub3604]

Thanks. Though right now I need alot of strengh to keep in control, so thinking about a followup tease was a bit overdoing it. I will need some rest after Amy is done with me. And for your sake I hope you get to experience part two soon, though part 4 was the part I fell utterly in love with domTanya and her writing ^_^.

No worries just take it at your own pace. As for me something seems to have gone wrong i have been locked 5 days 12 hours and still no release (max was 5 days) maybe carli changed it since I last used it so penalties affect the max as I picked up 6 six hour ones. Either that or I set it wrong. Either way the key is locked in a safe and I don't have the number or a overide key. I did peak yesterday though and it said 1 day 7 hours left trouble is this added another 6 hours.

I not too worried yet though. If I not out this in a day or 2 I will take another penalty and turn voting off as it will mean I set something wrong.

[Tobias23]

Good job so far, keep it up!

Unfortunately AMy's series is not for me - hate CBT.

Thank you! Love the support you guys give me, thanks.

As for the cbt, I didn't know Amy would dish out that much pain. But to be honest, that is the most exciting part, not knowing. It wouldn't be the same if I knew how the Mistress will behave when I start a series.
Well besides common sense I did give myself a few limits before I started. Anything else I intent to follow through if its physically possible.

Maybe the same could work for you, set a limit for cbt and start a webtease. Then it's okay to skip cbt instructions, but you better follow everything not on your limit list to the letter :)


@sub3604 I wrote you a pm, I don't want to go to much offtopic asking about carli here :)