save the superheroines 1

[Thesissyboy123]

leave any feedback here for this tease. if there are any bugs let me know and ill sort them. if this is popular i may do further parts where you have to save other superheroines. if you like that idea perhaps suggest possible superheroines for future parts.

[exadoi]

Ok who is the mistress? she is mighty fine

[littlewhiston]

This tease is a really good idea and if done well, has a chance of being a top series of teases on this site. However, there are some presentation factors which do not help the attractiveness of this tease.

For example;

1. Spelling . In the tease, 'you try to speak but you cant cos of the gag.' One better way of writing this is You try to speak but you can't/can not because of the gag.'

2. Grammar. In the tease 'keep going, 'i found out that whenever you cum you shall be no longer evil.' A correct way of having this. 'Keep going. I have have found out that whenever you cum, you will stop being evil.'

These are just a few ideas which I think will help the ratings your next teases to be higher than they are and will also achieve an all round better quality tease.

[Wrouph]

Your spelling is good compared to a lot of the other teases, but yout grammar is a bit off. I you took time to correct it, it would really improve the whole tease.

Wrouph.

[Haldirkd]

Well one problem I can see, is that you have a loop at your page #30, (the stroke twice per second one), the page continues to itself.

[Thesissyboy123]

i think i have made all the spelling and grammar changes suggested. i think the bug on page 30 is sorted too. any more problems just post them here or message me.

[Humblest]

I really like the idea of this tease. I didn't try it yet, just had a peek at some early parts. One thing I think could be a great improvement would be using a metronome in the tease to stroke to the sound (maybe it already happens in later parts - as I said I only had a look at an early part so far).

[baultista]

When done well, the superherione teases seem to be popular ones. I've always been a very big fan, and thus I'm pretty thrilled to see that someone is making one!

I've taken a look post-update... beyond some minor grammar issues (things I can look past, honestly) it is a nice teaser to what looks like a potentially strong series.

Excellent choice of girls for both the superherione and the mistress. I'm looking forward to the next instalment!

Spoiler: show

Part 1 seemed pretty conclusive though... I don't know where you're going to go now that Mistress is already in jail and Miss Power is free!

[notshyguy]

A pretty good tease overall, I think. And I'd really love to see a sequel, but there's also definitely room for improvement.

I agree with humblest's suggestion for a metronome.

The dirty talk was ok, but it could certainly be a bit...sluttier? More provocative? But maybe that's out of character for a superheroine like Miss Power, so maybe another superheroine or villainess would be more dirty.

Also, the slides changed way too slowly for my tastes.

[Flaris]

I think it was pretty good overall and great potential for sequels. Think more timers would be good, not big on the metronomes myself so won't really throw a suggestion in for that.

Overall I liked it. Think it'd be pretty easy for some sequels with either a new villain or simply having the Mistress get herself broken out by a few heroes who had deeper instructions put into their minds just in case something like that happened.

[billlr]

Personally, I would've liked to see more superheroines, more pictures of them, faster times and maybe some POV hardcore shots of the main villainess trying to get the hero to cum.
Maybe even one of the superheroines be a hairy "jungle girl". I'm sure there are some pics around.

Other than that, great tease.

Bill