The Librarian

misspainandpleasure · Post by **misspainandpleasure** » Thu May 17, 2007 4:11 am

Please let me know what you think of my first tease. While praise is always acceptable (and appreciated) I would like to hear about what you think I could improve on. Thanks

Post by jp » Thu May 17, 2007 4:59 am

First of all, I think that tease is incredible... there's really nothing to improve on except for personal preferences. I'm not that much into pain, so that wasn't a huge turn on for me, but I really liked the story and the fantasy.

Like I said, the only thing I can really think to improve would be personal preference. I like edging and would have liked to see more of that.

I would like to point out specific things that I think you did really well. Everything was spelled correctly, as far as I could tell. The scene stayed the same for the whole tease (it takes away from realism when the scene changes in the middle of a tease... just create a part 1 and part 2 if you're going that route). And best of all, you remembered what you did with the toys! When you said to stick another ice cube in your ass while the dildo was in there, you first said to take out the dildo and put it back in! A lot of people forget those things.

Who is the girl? She's amazing.

Post by **dark** » Fri May 18, 2007 12:17 am

Welcome misspainandpleasure!

Seems that your first tease is very popular, the ratings are high. I didn't try out your tease but I will when I have the time. But the list of items makes me scary

misspainandpleasure · Post by **misspainandpleasure** » Fri May 18, 2007 1:36 am

Thank you. I was afraid it would be a little too much pain and not enough pleasure, but I'm glad that it appears people like it. I hope to hear from more of you.

spice23 · Post by **spice23** » Fri May 18, 2007 3:56 pm

I think your tease was excellent as well, the votes show that! I like that you seemed to write to the pictures and that always helps to weave the fantasy.

For next time you might include some different aspects of teasing or humiliation, personal favorite, just to explore some other ground. I was impressed that this is your first tease!

Great job and keep teasing all us lost puppies!

Ps. If you do something wrong it is easier to be a critic! lol

toren1234 · Post by **toren1234** » Sat May 19, 2007 4:01 am

I thought that it was pretty great. Granted, I'm not into some of the stuff (ice cubes in the ass etc) but its all good. Really nice job.

Who's the girl? She's smokin hot!

lagavulin_nl · Post by **lagavulin_nl** » Tue May 22, 2007 4:54 pm

It pretty much has everything I like, bit too much pain, but certainly one of the better teases on the site. One of my favorites now.

solipsist · Post by **solipsist** » Wed May 23, 2007 12:25 pm

It's an excellent tease. My only criticism is that the list of toys is a bit long. Teases that require a lot of toys are great (I've written some myself) but it does exclude a few people.

johndoerei · Post by **johndoerei** » Mon May 28, 2007 1:02 am

rooster51 wrote:
toren1234 wrote:Who's the girl? She's smokin hot!
I second that, do you have a link to hq versions of the pictures please?

Thanks for the tease!

me too! she is really hot! who!!??

misspainandpleasure · Post by **misspainandpleasure** » Mon May 28, 2007 5:40 am

Sorry I haven't been around in while. Real life has kept me way too busy. Anyway, I don't really know who she is. I found her pictures in a folder on my computer that an ex forgot to delete. Decided they would be good to torment you guys with.

Post by **dark** » Tue May 29, 2007 5:41 pm

I finaly read your tease and I liked it! Although I don't have icy hot

Maybe next time you could suggest an alternative punishment for naughty boys who don't have the items you want to use. The writing style was nice and one last thing: I would never use hot sauce on myself. Damn that must be painful

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