Help overcoming and brutal mistress.

[CbtFootBitch]

I recently turned 18 and to be honest I visited this site and many others like it long before that. However, it was only about 3 weeks ago i started to really interact with some actual mistress's online 1 to 1. I can say with all my heart, it feel so liberating to be able to fully interact and express myself with other kink enthusiasts. However, I have run into a probem. 5 days ago i met with a mistress on the site "ImLive" the first night she pushed the limits of what i thought i could do and i was immediately addicted. I came back to her the next day and I told her how much money I had in the bank and asked her how much credits she wanted me to buy. She obviously wanted it all and in the course of 4 of those day I spent $900 on her. Each one of those days she pushed my limits farther though and made me so addicted, i have never been so manipulated in my life and i love it so much. I'm supposed to talk to her ever day now until i have more money, which i did do yesterday and im about to do in an hour. I still don't know if this whole situation is good or bad for me though. Because now i'm about to get a second Job, which will pay much more than the one i currently have. However more than half if not all of what i make for that will probably go to my new mistress. I've also have been sober for 2 day now since i've been broke and prior to that I had been out drinking and partying with my friends for almost 2 weeks. If anyone can offer any advice on what i should do please help me. I'm so scared, yet excited and horny about what might happen. Also, the $900 I spent on her was the money I was saving to have as extra cash for the start of college. Which, i leave for in about 6 weeks.

[pete_ger]

my 2 cents: because we have people like you there are so many 'financial dommes, who want to get spoiled' and scammers on dating/community sites. That really annoys me.

Going out on a date and paying for (e.g.) dinner or buying the Lady a drink isn't the same as ruining you financially because of an addiction. Start thinking with your brain!

[Kaitriot]

I know how exciting Financial Domination is so I'm not going to say that it's stupid and that you should stop but I will suggest that if you do continue that you learn to control how much you give out and learn to lie to any such mistress as to how much you have available because emptying savings accounts is really silly. You need to keep some control in the game. The rush from giving money is scary and exciting but it only lasts for a short while during and after you've sent money so it really isn't really worth getting yourself into future financial problems.

I do have to say though your braver than me as I'm 31 and I've still never tried an online financial mistress and probably never will. I have however tried getting an online friend to FD me so I can vouch for the rush.

I'd probably also suggest exploring any of your other fetishes until you've got your college and career sorted and have a good source of income behind you where you can enjoy it more.

Have fun but remember to keep some control of the game

[dr.d]

first tell her you found some one else then go out and find some one else. there should be trust and respect between the dom and the sub, you are nothing but a atm to her . yes she pushes your limits but does she respect them? does she think of your safety? if you said to her that your not into blood play would she tell you to cut your self with a dirty razor just so she can make a buck off of you? your better off dumping her going to school and finding someone there, after all college is were most people experament with things like BDSM and tease and denial and other things.

[CbtFootBitch]

Thank you for your responses, i'm actually posting this after just completing another session with her. I do agree, that she has abused me financially and my fetish for Financial Domination is what really started this problem. Although, after this session and a little bit of my previous one i'm not sure thats completely what she wants any more. I say this because she let me do whats called a Happy Hour session, which she had never done before because you make less money. Since its using these things called happy hour credits which you get every time you purchase normal credits and i've obviously built up quite a bit. Of course that doesn't mean she still isn't making something off of it.

Either way, i'm still unsure whether the outcome of all this is good or bad. For the past few days I haven't drinkinng and don't plan on anytime soon, I'm about to get a second job and that empty whole of submission feels filled. Of course, I'm starting to feel slightly insane. I can't help but get hard at random times throughout the day when my mistress comes to mind.

@dr. d: you are right though, their has been a lack of trust, yet i feel like it has been building. Especially after today. I think now that she realizes i'm more dedicated she has been more careful with me. Thats not to say she doesn't still torture the hell out of me though.

I'm really not sure and sorry for ranting, i'm tired, horny because i'm now denied and just flat out confused. If anyone else wants to leave feedback please feel free and thank you. I will be reading it.

[likeitlikeit]

you sir, are a dumbass

[AngelAnna837]

you sir, are a dumbass

I think that could be taken as slighty insencitive....


I'm sorry to say it, but i think this woman has seens someone younge and Nieve and is taken full advantage of that. Almost $1000 in less that a week? I'm sorry hun but that is madness. I think you need to take a moment, take a deep breath and think about this.... think what that money could have gone towards with you starting collage. I have been there, i started uni with no money and strugged so hard for the first 6 months till i finally and thankfully got a job. Collage is expensive and even running 2 jobs (which i realy dont think is pratctical if you are going into full time education) having someone demanading that much money from you is just not going to happen. You are still young (i am not much older) and collage is so improtant and you should never put something like this before something that i going to shape the rest of your life.

I know its something you enjoy, but you dont even know with woman beyond what you can learn in a week. Why not take some time and get to know her as a person. do you really want to be thorwing that much money at someone you dont know?
I was in a similar place to you, turned 18 and entered this world and i was most definelty taken advantage of because of my youth and inexperince. Thankfully i found a few great frined to guild me and lead me to the wonderful i am today.
So please, i urge you to just stop and think before you end up down a road that you can't get back from.

[flyingKiltSlave]

I agree with the earlier posters!

You addiction to this leech is yet another manifestation of your obvious addictive personality. You're professed to visiting here and other porn sites pre-18 and drinking and partying at the same age.

2 of these addictions are illegal and you are being scammed out of your ass in the other one.

My advice: Seek professional help. I've worked with ALOT of addicts both in AA and NA and trust me when I say it DOES NOT GET BETTER FROM HERE, it only gets worse.

[CbtFootBitch]

Thank you all for your responses that really helps. I'm going to stop seeing her and really try to sort some things out. I think i'm still going to get a second job for this summer, but I'm saying now whatever money I make is going to me. I've been spending far to much money for far to long on things porn and BDSM related. When I really think of it their is so much more I could have done this past year had I not wasted my money on stupid crap like this. I just need to go out and find a real domme I can trust and have an honest relationship. Again thank you all for help I really appreciate it and its great to know theirs other like me can understand and relate to my issues.

[Jaberwocky]

It sounds like you are a bit compulsive in nature. Given that you came hear for advice indicates that you are aware of it. Getting to know your own weaknesses (I have plenty of those), is one of the best things to learn.

Anyway, good luck with college and sorting out your finances and fetishes and with straighten out your priorities.

[dr.d]

I just need to go out and find a real domme .

don't look for a domme, look for a person. when I met Erica, the woman who introduced me to BDSM , we were in a comic book store . I was not looking for a domme ,I was alone and I hated it so when I saw her getting alot of the same books that I was getting I asked her if she wanted to get some coffee. go out and make some friends , one of them could be the best thing that ever happens to you.

[peckersnot]

I've said before, somewhere on this site, that the psychological high associated with BDSM play for some people is as volatile and as addicting as crack cocaine. (And therefore, just as potentially dangerous.)

Based on the limited information you have provided here, I'd say you're on the Titantic steering towards an iceberg.

A genuine domme/sub relationship must be based on mutual respect, understanding, and caring.

Any woman who drained your bank account of $900.00 in one online session cares not one whit for you as a human being.

The seas of cyber-sex and bdsm are shark-infested waters. There are a significant number of aggressive, predatory women out there who can smell desperation like blood in the water.

Please, for your own sake, and I'm more concerned about your mental and emotional health even than your financial situation, pull the plug on this "relationship" with an online domme who clearly regards you as nothing more than an ATM machine with a dick.

It upsets me a great deal to see people like you being brazenly taken advantage of. (And I think it happens all too frequently in the opportunistic world of cyber-sex.)

Save your money for school. (Statistically, University/College graduates will make DOUBLE the income over a lifetime of work than those who lack this certification. -So despite the costs involved, this is one of the best investments you can make.)

Try to meet someone in your own life who shares your sexual kinks.

Investigate whether or not there's a bdsm community in your area that you might join. (There are dommes looking for subs who get a genuine sexual thrill out of the dominant role they get to play out in bdsm fantasy....Believe it or not, not everything in this world has to have an automatic price tag attached to it.)

Again, my advice is to RUN, don't walk, away from this whole situation.

[slutty1]

I'm glad to hear that you've decided to stop sending your money to this online "Mistress". That's a great decision. Hopefully you can hang in there for a few weeks, work hard, and build up some savings again before you start college. Probably it will get somewhat easier to avoid thinking about spending money on her/porn once you start college, as there will be plenty of new people to meet and new things to do.

I would guess that you were getting the impression that this woman who was taking so much of your money actually cared about you and that your relationship meant something to her, but hopefully you see now that she doesn't care at all and was just taking your money until something better came along. In contemporary slang, one might say that you were getting LeBron'd.

[neloangelo1227]

How many hours of work did it take you to make those $900? Assuming you're working a usual pre-college job, you're probably making around $9/hr. That's 100 hours. Make sure you know exactly how much that is: 100 hours. There are 168 hours in a week. The average person has 112 waking hours in a week, and works 40 hours per week. So if those are your numbers, you've spent over half a month's pay on her.

Are you getting that much satisfaction and fulfillment from her?

Are your other bills paid?

Are your other financial goals being met? Are they more important, or less?

Answer those questions, and it should be easier to figure out what you ought to do.