Wife found my porn

[wonderbo]

Saturday afternoon my wife looked on my computer and found my porn collection. I'm usually better at hiding it; I got careless. Anyway, this is a tough issue for us because she's found it before and I already know she doesn't approve. Also, she feels very hurt because she feels like I'm replacing her...or cheating on her. Finally, when she sees what I'm into, her imagination starts going into overdrive and she wonders what other deviant acts I might be capable of.

Anyway, I love her very much...even though she doesn't understand this about me. I feel guilty for hurting her. We had sex on Saturday morning before she found it...I'm not sure how long she'll make me wait though.

Also, I had to delete all the picture sets I had picked out to finish The Fertility Clinic series. I hate to leave things unfinished, but I'm afraid I'm going to have to lay off it for a while.

One more note: Part of me really wants to stop looking at porn. I've always felt a little guilty about it...especially when I know what it does to her. On the other hand, I'm not sure i'm really capable of giving it up.

[les]

Get a pen drive,
and keep everything off the PC
If you use portable firefox even your internet activity is off the PC.

Feel a new thread coming up
needs a coat of looking at first.

Les

[wonderbo]

@lesub - That's an idea that hadn't occurred to me. I reset my browser everytime I close it, so that part hasn't been an issue. It's the actual files that were stored on my computer. There was several gigs of images and movies.

@Indigo - That sounds like wise advise. She's actually asked me to share with her when I feel tempted to look at porn. I'm not sure how emotionally safe this will be for either of us since it can be kind of a flash point for her. But, I think I can be sensitive about how I share it...and if she is able to exercise some discernment and insight when I'm sharing...it should be ok. Probably better than sneaking around, right?

[les]

@Indigo - That sounds like wise advise. She's actually asked me to share with her when I feel tempted to look at porn. I'm not sure how emotionally safe this will be for either of us since it can be kind of a flash point for her. But, I think I can be sensitive about how I share it...and if she is able to exercise some discernment and insight when I'm sharing...it should be ok. Probably better than sneaking around, right?

There is your out
she wants to help ,
talk to her .
Listen to each other.

How many scenarios are there
"I got caught and it changed my life"

But above all be truthful and go slowly.
Do it now

[whacker44]

well you could let her beat you...pull your pants down and take you over her knee...oops thats my fantasy

[wonderbo]

well you could let her beat you...pull your pants down and take you over her knee...oops thats my fantasy

Interesting idea, LOL. I don't think I'll bring this up. :) I don't need to ask to know she'll think this is weird. Anyway, spanking has never been my thing. I like having my balls bounced a little, but that's about it when it comes to the rough stuff.

[wonderbo]

The first real test for me will be later today. I will be home alone for a couple of hours while she is out. I'm sure she's thought of this too...so my plan is to tell her that I know I'm going to be alone and that I'm not going to look at porn while she's gone...and then confirm to her that I didn't when she gets back.

As of right now, I haven't looked at porn 3 days. This is actually a long time for me. What I realized when I was thinking about this is that I don't typically masturbate just because I'm looking at porn. As a matter of fact, I'm guessing I looked at porn 10 times for every single time I masturbated. I'm not sure if this is normal or not.

Anyway, I'm kind of craving to look at it right now. I know I can make it through tonight without looking though.

My wife and I had a good talk last night, and we cuddled for a while later in bed. She doesn't seem ready for sex yet. I'm not sure how long she'll make me wait. The cuddling kind of made me crazy though. In fact, this whole porn abstinence thing may turn out to be a better tease than the teases themselves.

[Human]

Now 1TB portable pocket HDDs (wallet sized, no external power supply required) are being made. Get a couple of them, one for storing porn, and the other for keeping a backup of the important porn

If you want to explore sharing stuff with her, you can keep the traditional "vanilla" stuff on the computer, and the freaky stuff on the HDDs.

Explain to her that for all guys, porn/masturbation is not a replacement for the real stuff. The real stuff requires much much more mental involvement. Porn/masturbation is pretty much physical, forgotten once the deed is done. She is probably cheating on you more if she reads romance novels as that requires more mental commitment.
Also, guys are super-visual, young slutty models, airbrushed, lighting tricks, video editing etc, its not real but still it makes us go

[wonderbo]

@Human - Thanks for the advice. I don't think those flash drives are very expensive either. For now, I'm not going to push it with the porn thing with my wife. In other words...no porn for me, and I'm not going to try to introduce her to any of my freaky ideas.

So for the time being, I'm just going to tell her when I'm tempted...and also tell her what I did about it...even if it means I actually went and looked at porn. I'm pretty scared to do this, but I committed to do it...and she's promised to be reasonable.

Her outing for today was rescheduled, so that test has been removed for now. There will be another one though. In the meantime, my desire to look at it hasn't decreased any. As a matter of fact, I think this whole ordeal has actually made me hornier...if that's possible.

[Human]

@Human - Thanks for the advice. I don't think those flash drives are very expensive either. .

FYI, those are not flash drives, they contain a laptop (2.5") HDD inside.

[Human]

wonderbo, the following song seems appropriate in your current situation:
http://www.visit-x.net/rammstein/

[neloangelo1227]

Porn does not have to be a replacement or an indication that you're not attracted to your spouse. Great words have already been written on this subject here:

http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/SavageLove?oid=15810

Unless your porn-viewing habits are actively detrimental to your relationship, you have a right not to feel guilty about it.

[JDude]

My wife found my porn.. we are now happily divorced. I'd probably still be married if the porn was all hetero.

[wonderbo]

@Human and @neloangelo1227 - Are those links safe for me to view considering that I'm trying to avoid looking at porn?

@JDude - Nothing but hetero porn on my drive.

[Human]

Depends ... its not porn considering its the tonge in cheek video of the song by a mianstream band; it is in the sense it has hardcore nudity... if you're too concerned, you can load it up and just listen to the song (the nudity comes halfway through the song)

neloangelo1227's link is safe.