[RELEASE][FEEDBACK] Save Men v0.1

[Dr.Moonlight]

Hi everyone!

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I created this post because I just released my very first tease : https://milovana.com/webteases/showtease.php?id=55579

I have been visiting Milovana for years and many persons have inspired me including schefflera0101, lovecraft and diogaoo. Since I received a lot from Milovana, I wanted to give back to the community. My goal is to create a RPG tease based on stories and quests but at the same time I want it to be highly replayable for your enjoyment. I have been working on that for weeks...

Enough of me, here is the base story of this game : From your birth, you have been living in a bunker to be protected against a dangerous virus which strikes all men leading them to death. You couldn't resist sneaking outside to see how life out looks like. Though the Agency caught you. So they "choose you" to lead a special mission outside: you need to gather intels to help the Agency finding a cure against the virus. It seems more like a death sentence to you than anything else but you have no choice otherwise it's death sentence anyway for treason and endangering others...

In this 1st version, the agency has dropped you in the forest, you need to get a bus ticket to go to the city. But this may be more difficult that it sounds

So here what the forest area features :

20 girls :
-6 main girls to defeat
-7 girls linked to random events
-4 girls linked to quests
-3 others girls

4 quests :
-a ride out
-meet those girls
-forest hitman
-the pink mushroom

I want to get as much feedback as I can to know if you like the game design, the quests, the girls, anything you could say will help me. I also know since it's a first version that for sure, the forest area needs some balance changes. Actually my first plan was to create a first zone to introduce player to the game play which was supposed to last 3 in-game days. It surely lasts way more now! Also I know that battle may be basic which only 2 things to watch (HP and Sick level) but it was intended since next area will have way more features...

I also create a Patreon in case you want to support the project and my time https://www.patreon.com/drmoonlight/ I already dropped there a link for v0.2 which is an add-on to the forest area with a new wild feature, new quests, a boss, 2 new main girls, 6 new event girls and more... I will release that on Milovana later, for now I really want to see if people like it or not. And I am really focus on balancing stuff on v0.1 before adding v0.2 content which would make the game harder.

I also started to work on v0.3. To be honest most of it is still a sketch. My plan for v0.3 is to release the city area or at least some part of it since there is many things to work on... Though of course, this can be postponed according to your feedbacks about the forest area.

Hope you enjoy it and I am looking forward to reading your comments!

Naughty regards

The Doctor

[Thamrill]

I just gave it a quick look, but I'd say this looks amazing and quite promising.

Can't wait to have time to test it fully.

My only comment so far is that

Spoiler: show

In the green light/red light game with Roni (amazing tricks you used, I have to say) since we need to pay attention to the text we can't actually appreciate the pictures. Would be nice if the red/green indication was on the picture, or if red lights lasted a little bit more.

Also, I think that from the maintenance point of view you could use say actions rather than images and emojis if you need symbols.

Keep up the great work.

I will add more comments as I try it more.

~Thamrill

[Atlas Ferrum]

Hey. i like the layout of your tease and i really want to play it. problem is. often times, it freezes at the picture of the forest after pressing the "Forest" button. i have sadly only seen 2 of the girls. evene though i restarted the tease several times :(, hope you figure it out, i will look forward to play the tease :)

[indyc]

Like atlas, I am getting freezes in a lot of spots. The 2 most common are with "I'm Staisha ready for some positions?" and the attached screenshot location.

I am pretty intrigued by the project and am happy someone is using picture slideshows for a completely unique presentation. That being said, be careful of using color gradients for your text background. They are nearly impossible to do correctly without looking "cheap". There are tons of interesting texture backgrounds you could use in google image searches instead that would immediately make your presentation look a lot more professional.

On a similar note, see what it looks like without all caps. I need to re-iterate I still REALLY like the idea of this presentation style to introduce and teach the game.

It is odd to start your "sick" stat at 100 because that reads as "fully sick" to me. Try instead starting at 0 or something else.
I haven't had a good feel for combat yet but try to think of other options other than hit and leave. I know hero corruption gets a bunch of praise and they basically have hit and leave at it's core until lategame. But you can do better!

Grammar options if you want them:

Spoiler: show

Don't say Intels, just say intel every time. 3 intel for example.
"Encouragements on the forum" -> encouragement
I don't know what "I can drool you" means
"Let me prepare to finish you" is an odd statement, perhaps instead "I'm about to finish you" or "I'm preparing to finish you"

I am SUPER happy to see another RPG tease and know that it is early on. Really excited to see where you go with it and please don't hesitate to involve me or others into early testing to make sure we can fix your freezes before they go live. Sadly the freezes are stopping me from exploring enough to give you a better idea on what I think about your actual game. Thank you for making this!

[kong]

Same for me, freezes when searching the forest, but I had at least 5 girls before, and on the second day.
Another forest picture though

[bigred94]

It also freezes for me at Staisha and at the picture of a location. Seems promising though

[Thamrill]

Yeah, as indyc noted, there are some grammatical errors/typos/misspellings here and there.

Also, I don't know if you have followed the various threads in the past, but ignore the low rating your tease is having, focus only on the feedback you are receiving in this thread. There is a known issue of 1-star review bombing mostly for trolling purposes.

Cheers.
~Thamrill

[Dr.Moonlight]

bigred94, kong, indyc, Atlas Ferrum
=> I released a second version

Freeze was caused by redirection to girls which are not finished yet... Now it's fixed.

My only comment so far is that

=> I get it, you want to have the eyes focused on the pics rather than the text. I will see what I can do about that

They are nearly impossible to do correctly without looking "cheap". There are tons of interesting texture backgrounds you could use in google image searches instead that would immediately make your presentation look a lot more professional.

=> I will look on that. Though honestly I was kinda satisfied with the background I wanted something which combine blue and yellow a bit like action movie posters. Plus the gradient I created look a bit like a sunset and I guess you notice my nickname is Dr.Moonlight so... But i will look on that

On a similar note, see what it looks like without all caps. I need to re-iterate I still REALLY like the idea of this presentation style to introduce and teach the game.

=> Hey I am a doctor so I like presentation as well I will do some tries without the all cap thing

It is odd to start your "sick" stat at 100 because that reads as "fully sick" to me. Try instead starting at 0 or something else.

=> I thought the same. I started at 100 because I had a different idea at the beginning then I was kinda lazy to change it because it involves modifying some "if" on every single pages of the tease. But yeah you're totally right I add it to my to do list

I haven't had a good feel for combat yet but try to think of other options other than hit and leave. I know hero corruption gets a bunch of praise and they basically have hit and leave at it's core until lategame. But you can do better!

=> Actually forest area was supposed to be an initiation area in my mind, though I get so excited about the creation I made it a whole area. I understand it's basic battle but I did not want to implement everything from start. I really like Hero Corruption but I want Save Men to be really different concerning the progression system. Mostly because there is a storyline and quests. I was planning to implement more complicated battle when someone reach the city. But ok I will think about the some options to improve battle earlier.

Grammar options if you want them

Sure I will correct those

For everyone, THANK ALL for your nice words

And again : now freezes should be gone so you can really try the game

Naughty regards,

The doctor

[Thamrill]

And again : now freezes should be gone so you can really try the game

Naughty regards,

The doctor

I found another page where game freezes, see attached screenshot.

Keep up the great work,

~Thamrill

[Dr.Moonlight]

Hello dear patient!

I found another page where game freezes, see attached screenshot.

Thanks for your feedback. It was due to a missing Go To in a specific "If" loop.
It has been solved.

=> Note that the game saves your progress each in game-night. You can start back at the beginning of the day which has froze

Naughty regards,

The Doctor

[bigred94]

Found a new pic where the game freezes

[Dr.Moonlight]

Found a new pic where the game freezes

Hello!

For all feedbacks about freeze, you don't need to screenshot the forest. The forest pic is 100% random. it's just to add a feel of walking and wandering in the forest. No deeper meaning. It would help me more to target if you share your progression in quests. Like "Ride out 3/4"
That being said, I spot one way that leads nowhere after getting your bus ticket, I think that was the problem. I updated the tease (#3)

Thank you for your report :)

Naughty regards,

The doctor

[Thamrill]

Hello dear patient!

I found another page where game freezes, see attached screenshot.

Thanks for your feedback. It was due to a missing Go To in a specific "If" loop.
It has been solved.

=> Note that the game saves your progress each in game-night. You can start back at the beginning of the day which has froze

Naughty regards,

The Doctor

Thanks, I restarted anyhow because I attacked the seller

[Dr.Moonlight]

Thanks, I restarted anyhow because I attacked the seller

I am not here to judge

[Errant_]

Very nice work so far! Though it's still "early development" in a lot of ways, there is already quite a bit of content and some good foundations. It reminds me of a Hero Corruption - lite.

As mentioned by others, there are quite a few grammar/spelling errors. This isn't a huge deal, but could easily be fixed by having someone review the text.

I very much like the variety of the encounters, and the liberal use of pics + accompanying teasing text. One of the problems I often have with games like these is they end up just having 1 or 2 pics per encounter, which is pretty uninteresting. You've done a great job on this side.

The combat (and overall time/character management) definitely could be improved from a game design standpoint, but seems like you already know this. Right now there isn't much in the way of interesting decisions, and the rewards vs. sickness incurred from the various girls is not really balanced.

One thing I'd love to see is a metronome or something similar to tie combat to, uh, other activity :). But I understand this is a contentious topic and people have very different preferences.

The intel system is a little confusing to me right now. Especially because you have intel and XP as being sort of the same thing, but not quite?

Also minor, but thematically, I feel like HP/Sickness doesn't really make that much sense. Maybe something like Lust/Sickness would be more fitting.

Overall, I'm very excited to see how this evolves. Keep up the good work!