Feedback - Your Best Friend's Sister Finds Out Your Secret

[joekmama]

deleted

[slavechylde]

Given the grade, I am guessing you got most things right.



I haven't gone through it, yet. But, when I do, I'll offer you some thoughts.

[str0be]

I enjoyed it. Feminization tends to be my favorite area (as evidenced by all the teases I've done) and you did a good job with it.

The model is hot and the pics are good.

Note: I'm reaching a little bit here to offer you some criticism so be aware it isn't a big deal.
When she mentioned telling her brother, it took a minute to connect the dots. There are a few different 'threats' in that situation that it took a minute to realize she was talking 'your best friend'. There's her herself, her boyfriend, your girlfriend, your best friend/her brother, the student body of the school, and the video camera. All of these things either as something that is antogonizing you or someone you are (presumably) afraid of being revealed to. I think having all the threats can work, but just be aware that it can get confusing, and you might be able to accomplish the same goal in a more streamlined manner by cutting down on them.

Then again, it might take away from the overall impact by lessening the threats. There are teases that take advantage of multiple mistresses and would probably be crippled if they weren't all there. (the 6 schoolgirls tease for instance)

Just thought it was an interesting subject to think about. But beyond that, I thought your tease was very good. Especially for your first.

str0be