My first tease - Annual check-up

[sissywanktoy]

Hi,

I just wanted to try this out so i made a tease.

annual check-up.

Hope you enjoy.

Feedback is welcome along with improvements and suggestions for changes to mane it work better.

[Carlcjjohnson]

Initially, with the pen and paper, I thought it was going to be pretty good.
But the grammar and spelling are a bit off throughout, and the whole pen and paper 'confession' didn't really amount to anything. The model could've been a bit easier on the eyes too.


Also, it was WAY too hard. 50 edges in one!? I don't have that kind of attention span, let alone stamina

It had great potential, and you nearly pulled it off!

Good luck next time

[all2true]

Well your doing better in popularity
than my first tease:
Your Twisted

A 3.6 review for a first tease is great!

Keep up the work
may be you could do the prequals? (days 1 to 4)

Also any comments on how I could imporve
would aslo be appreciated.
I had hoped Chocolate would be a bit more popular (shrug)

[sissywanktoy]

Initially, with the pen and paper, I thought it was going to be pretty good.
But the grammar and spelling are a bit off throughout, and the whole pen and paper 'confession' didn't really amount to anything. The model could've been a bit easier on the eyes too.


Also, it was WAY too hard. 50 edges in one!? I don't have that kind of attention span, let alone stamina

It had great potential, and you nearly pulled it off!

Good luck next time

Thanks for the feedback, About the spelling and grammar.. Well I'm Danish so bare with me just abit. I'll try to improve that part ofcourse. Might went abit overboard with the 50 egdes hehe, Ill try to make it abit easier, and use a beat and mins instead. I think that would work better for future teases. And last. About the model.. Hard to find exactly what I had in mind. I chose her as I liked the start of the serie, with the entering, and taking notes. :)

[sissywanktoy]

Well your doing better in popularity
than my first tease:
Your Twisted

A 3.6 review for a first tease is great!

Keep up the work
may be you could do the prequals? (days 1 to 4)

Also any comments on how I could imporve
would aslo be appreciated.
I had hoped Chocolate would be a bit more popular (shrug)

Thanks! Will take a look at your teases in nesr future.