Fifty Shades of Grey

[les]

The missus bought a Paperback

In Smith’s, the other day,

I had a look inside her bag;

T'was "Fifty shades of grey".



Well I just left her to it,

And at ten I went to bed.

An hour later she appeared;

The sight filled me with dread…..



In her left hand she held a rope;

And in her right a whip!

She threw them down upon the floor,

And then began to strip.



Well fifty years or so ago;

I might have had a peek;

But Mabel hasn't weathered well;

She's eighty four next week!!



Watching Mabel bump and grind;

Could not have been much grimmer.

And things then went from bad to worse;

She toppled off her Zimmer!



She struggled back upon her feet;

A couple of minutes later;

She put her teeth back in and said

That I must dominate her!!



Now if you knew our Mabel,

You'd see just why I spluttered,

I'd spent two months in traction

For the last complaint I'd uttered.



She stood there nude and naked

Bent forward just a bit

But when I went to hold her

I stood upon her tit!



Mabel screamed, her teeth shot out;

My god what had I done!?

She moaned and groaned then shouted out:

"Step on the other one"!!



Well readers, I can tell no more

About what occurred that day.

Suffice to say my jet black hair,

Turned fifty shades of Grey.

[1885]

[manwithcape]

Best thing I read all day.

[Snare]

This post!

Signed with a
Snare

[jackstock]

that was actually quite good

[1885]

The thing that trips me out about this poem is that it follows the exact same meter as this, and now I cannot read it without the words taking on this melody.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j1l7N-WLa3Q

[Johnmaster]

This is the funniest thing

[thequeenofcunt]

You sir are a genius!

Kept me laughing for hours this did