Why are ruined orgasms just so pleasurable?

[underdog]

I've had a good few ruined orgasms, but I've never experienced them as painful or frustrating. Just an awesome hands-free orgasm after hours of teasing.

Perhaps I'm doing something wrong... I've always had ruined orgasms by riding up right to the edge, just tipping it over by one, maybe two strokes, then hands off! Still feels awesomely pleasurable mind - not much less than a full blown orgasm.

Anyone else have this problem?

[Snare]

Yeah I kind of have this problem too. But I get so sensitive when I orgasm that I pretty much have to stop or it will drive me nuts. When I found out about ruined orgasms though, I realized that was what I was doing the entire time. Now I have full orgasms but they don't pleasure me as much as a good ruined one.

[wonderbo]

It sounds like your giving yourself a full orgasm then. I think the idea is to start the ejaculation process, but not proceed to the orgasm phase. They happen very close together, so it's not easy to achieve. When you've been surfing the edge for a while it gets easier as the night goes on...at least it does for me. Earlier in the night my body is much more responsive and prone to full ejaculation...but as my body tires I find it's easier to have a ruined orgasm.

[cumhardy]

try this, just as you start to cum, stop stroking then vigorously rub the palm of your hand in circles over the tip of your cock

[denton]

you could try what is apparently called a "barely ruined orgasm" and go from there. this means that you stroke to the edge and hold it, then you just barely go over it and immediately stop touching, even before you actually feel the orgasm and the contractions. it might take a few tries but if you do it right then only 1 or 2 drops of cum will come out and if that is not a frustrating experience for you, then you probably cannot be helped in that regard and are just different from most males here ;)

[underdog]

yep no - I've tried everything to see if I can reach this unsatisfying stage, but it's the very sensation of edging that tips me over the edge and keeps driving me through orgasm. can't stop it.

[pete_ger]

You're probably doing it wrong. There are two ways that work for me:

1) After edging alot, I start edging once every 10 seconds and every time I go one stroke closer and stop. Thats the kind of edging I avoid in normal teasing session due to accidents. So at some point you will go over it, as you're pushing yourself once stroke closer every time. For me it takes around 5 to 10 edges.

That way I just barely go over the edge, every stroke beyond that is the difference between a completely ruined orgasm and a somewhat enjoyable. It takes about 3 up to 5 seconds after my hands leave my cock until my cum starts to flow. That is a long time, count it! I only can achieve it when I barely go over that edge.

(sidenote: If i stop stroking at the first sign of cum, it's actually a pretty pleasurable orgasm, I'd give it a 7, if 10 would be a full orgasm.)

2) The 'soft - edge - stop' orgasm. Basically you wait until you're soft, stroke quickly to the edge and a bit over, then stop. I have to be denied and teased for a while, otherwise I can't manage to edge that quickly. The point is you want to go over that edge before your body had time to pump in enough blood into your cock. So you have a soft or half-soft orgasm.

-- either way --
There is one more important Thing which is essential to a fully ruined orgasms. It doesn't matter which way you choose to get over the edge, but as soon as you know you tipped over the 'point of no return' you have to relax your muscles!! Thats a hard one, because your body wants you to twitch and pump that cum out. Just relax and concentrate on your breathing.

For me it works best if i just relax my whole body, thus I have to lay down for a fully ruined orgasms. I get the feeling that I went over the point of no return and my orgasm is about to start. And I feel how my cum is pushed up my cock and out, and I get the urge to thrust and contract my muscles. But i resists, and after a short while the feeling of 'i'm about to cum' subsides and when i look down, alot of cum has been flowing/dribbling out. Very frustrating.

Hope that helps.

cya
pete

[Nezhul]

Why shouldn't they be? It's an orgasm nonetheless. Edging is pleasurable too.
The point of a ruined orgasm is that you ejaculate, but you don't loose your desire, that's it. It's less satisfying, but it's still pleasurable.

[denton]

Of course edging is pleasurable, but it is still a very frustrating experience because you know you are so close to something that feels so much better, and that feeling increases the more/longer you edge as you get used to being at that point and crave more.

Same with a ruined orgasm.. pete explained it well, i think. If you really ruin it, then.. well, of course it's a somewhat pleasurable feeling taken out of context, but knowing that a few strokes more would make it so, SO much better and give you real release and satisfaction.. that's what makes it frustrating and (at least that's my experience) overshadows the actual physical pleasure you feel. And that's also what makes it a great "tool" for a Dom/Domme, as they can either ruin it themselves or (if it's in a tease or in a chat or wherever) demonstrate the control they have by making their sub do it.

[miatly]

I always thought a ruined orgasm meant you ejaculated without contractions.

Heres my convoluted analogy:

Imagine a race car accelerating and when you let off the gas pedal it still accelerates for a second before the engine dies down.

So, when you edge and you hit the point of no return, even though you stop touching it your cock still pulses or twitches.

When I have a ruined orgasm its when I'm trying to stop before the point of no return and that little bit of left over acceleration nudges me just next to it. I'm not giving one or 2 strokes to tip myself over, I'm stopping one or two strokes before I do. The momentum of my horniness does the rest.

If my timing is off then I will have to clench my pc(? forget) muscle to stop anything coming out and sometimes I still get a few extractions. If I do it 'right' I don't even feel like I hit the edge and some cum just dribbles out.

So, in conclusion, try to have an ejaculation without contractions of any kind.

[SexualChoc]

Personally I think your lucky
They hurt a good bit for me.

However if you actually WANT to experience
something not pleasurable
the best way
would be stroke and go over edge
and SQUEEZE your dick as tight as you can when you cum
(no Stroking... just a really good squeeze)
If done correctly No, or extremely little Cum will flow out
Do not Let go on the Squeeze for at least 10, I would say up to 15 seconds...
THEN let go of the squeeze and see how that feels.

[pete_ger]

I thought about it some more, and I came up with some numbers that might explain it a bit better. From a Scale from 1 to 10:

10 Mindblowing orgasms, the best in your life.

9-6 Diffent kind of good orgasms, depending on how long you've been teased, or how good the sex was.

5 A daily normal orgasm, quick strokes and cum.

4 A somewhat pleasurable ruined orgasm. I get this when I stop stroking as soon as i cum, and let my contractions carry me through the orgasm.

3-2 Less pleasurable ruined orgasms, depending on how early i stopped stroking, and how much contractions and twitching I have.

1 If done correclty as I described above. No pleasure, very frustrating.

---
And for me the difference between 1, 2, 3 and 4 is all about how early I stop and how much i use my muscles. A few strokes to many, even before the first cum appears, can make the difference between no pleasure and a somewhat pleasurable experience. Same goes for the contractions.

[Nezhul]

SexualChoc

Hehe, I'v tryed it in the past. Didn't work even if I squeezed extra hard, and I'm not weak at all. I still just cum.

Also some do the same by closing the urethral opening with finger\palm. Doesn't work for me too, tho. My cum is just as unstoppable as a tsunami

[Human]

If my timing is off then I will have to clench my pc(? forget) muscle to stop anything coming out and sometimes I still get a few extractions. If I do it 'right' I don't even feel like I hit the edge and some cum just dribbles out.
.

Interesting, I would have thought ruining an orgasm would consist of relaxing your muscles as much as possible.

For me, when I'm edging, I have to try to relax the muscles as much as possible to avoid the cum twitch. Sometimes I fail and a spurt comes out. After that there is a gap of 2-3 seconds and the rest of the spurts follow. I guess if I had enough willpower to keep relaxed, I would stop at the first spurt, but when that first spurt happens, my willpower goes through the door. I avoid touching myself, but I still pump it out.

[mbop]

That way I just barely go over the edge, every stroke beyond that is the difference between a completely ruined orgasm and a somewhat enjoyable. It takes about 3 up to 5 seconds after my hands leave my cock until my cum starts to flow. That is a long time, count it! I only can achieve it when I barely go over that edge.

This is interesting because I think it's mostly common knowledge, by both sexes, that there is a decent gap between when a man senses he is starting to cum and when the cum begins to actually shoot out the tip. But even in non-denial/tease situations, like the classic "I'll pull out" bit, it's a polite fiction that this gap doesn't exist, or the man has difficulty recognizing the point (which may be true in some cases, but not most or all), which seems to me to lead to "accidents" that are just swept under the rug. At least the "it felt too good" excuse is closer to the truth than "it just happened" and similar.

(sidenote: If i stop stroking at the first sign of cum, it's actually a pretty pleasurable orgasm, I'd give it a 7, if 10 would be a full orgasm.)

I wonder how variable this is. Although I love teasing I never really put the denial part into practice in my personal life. Whenever I've not quite "finished things off" completely around the point when he begins to shoot my partner is not very happy at all, even if it's only for a couple moments. I learned that pretty early on as a teenager that it seems to apply to most guys. I've never had them rate it, but I imagine it'd be a lot less than 7. Then again, your view (and other guys here) is probably a lot different because you like to do ruined ones anyway.

-- either way --
There is one more important Thing which is essential to a fully ruined orgasms. It doesn't matter which way you choose to get over the edge, but as soon as you know you tipped over the 'point of no return' you have to relax your muscles!! Thats a hard one, because your body wants you to twitch and pump that cum out. Just relax and concentrate on your breathing.

I see some guys talk about PC muscles or breathing the correct way, which I'm sure is the main point, but when a guy cums it also seems like his testes are doing quite a number too. The balls jump around and dance enthusiastically, and sometimes the entire sac moves up next to the body and flexes rhythmically. I'm assuming this is beyond conscious control, but I really don't know how that works out during a ruined/semi-ruined orgasm. Does that happen anyway? Or is it important to make sure they don't twitch too much as well?

For me, when I'm edging, I have to try to relax the muscles as much as possible to avoid the cum twitch. Sometimes I fail and a spurt comes out. After that there is a gap of 2-3 seconds and the rest of the spurts follow. I guess if I had enough willpower to keep relaxed, I would stop at the first spurt, but when that first spurt happens, my willpower goes through the door. I avoid touching myself, but I still pump it out.

When this happens is that a ruined or partially ruined orgasm for you? When you say "the rest of the spurts follow" do you mean that would have been your full load if you had gone the normal route to a full climax? Maybe I'm wrong, but isn't that also a method for milking? You allow one spurt, or string, of cum out, but you keep the rest down.