First tease..

[tort]

http://www.milovana.com/webteases/showf ... p?id=11279

I need your feedback guys...

[Tease_Me_Please_Me]

I'm not the kind of edging but that's a pretty good tease.
Nice pair of big tits

Bravo ! ;)

[ponderhk]

Hi tort - firstly - thanks for taking the time to make a tease for us all. Ok, my personal thoughts only on the tease - others may have far more positive or negative feedback.

- pics were hot. Lovely model. Great choice and she really got my attention.
- starting was great. Really had the sense I was about to get hot and steamy with my hot neighbour.

But...
- suddenly, as soon as she opened the door, the tease turned into a slideshow of her pics and stroking instructions. Nothing else. I kept going through waiting for her to get back to the plot, but it just didn't happen.
- asking for two edges in 60 seconds for me at least was not enjoyable. Having some downtime in between is more my thing.
- as soon as you see her initially, she virtually begs for your sperm. Then, straight afterwards, and for the rest of the tease, you take care of yourself, with no interaction from her really wanting that sperm.

In summary - god I wish I lived next door to her! If it went down like that in real life, I would feel she was the mega bitch from hell, coming onto me at a million miles an hour, and then just making me stand there, cum in front of her and making me leave. Talk about a bitter teasing biatch!!! Maybe that is what you were going for!

In fantasy land, I would have wanted her to really seduce me if she really was begging for me, and if she was going to be dom about it, she would still give it up but only after I jumped through all sorts of hoops for her.


Bottom line, I liked the pics, but found the repitition of stroke teasing boring. But that's just my opinion!

I've spent time reviewing the tease and compiling this critique because I think there is a heap of potential in the way you are going.

I would love to see you do a follow up, with the same girl, where she takes you inside her house again, and you go further down the path of establishing your relationship.
- does she want a quick fuck on the living room floor? What do you have to do to earn that?
- Does she start slow, giving you a drink, talking about her / your likes / dislikes, why she's horny, what she thinks of you, what she wants from you?
- how can she boss you around - does she know you're a horndog, has she got something on you, is she a slut?

There are SO many ways you could go. Going against Elvis Presley's advice "A little less conversation, a little more action baby". I would go for a little more conversation before the action baby!

[tort]

Wow! Thanks a lot guys, i'll try to get better. Any other reccomendations?

[Richx]

Who is the model by the way?

Thanks, and i have to agree with the above, great pictures but more of a plot would improve the tease.

[tort]

http://btjunkie.org/torrent/SteRipper-s ... 906e2a0f0e

It's all yours. Just don't make a tease out of it, cause i'm planning to.:P

[Nezhul]

I'd say you should give more attention to character personality. The instructions are a bit too straight-forward and pale. We don't see her attitude to the process much. Pick the idea your character would follow (in your case it's getting a good load of cum), and try to think that way. What woud she tell to you? How would she encourage you? How can she tease you mentally?

[tort]

Yeah, you guys are right... Hadn't thought of it back then.