cheatin balls.. thoughts ???

[bloatedballs]

I am working on Number 2 anyone have anything to say about the first one i made ??

[storydejour]

I see pt. 2 is up. I haven't looked at it yet, but the first part was GREAT!

In one respect, part of being teased comes with not knowing how long it's going to last, but I was glad to see the bit about how many pages it was. Often times I find myself going through a tease just getting bored and saying "when will it end?" or, conversely, wanting to pause for a bit but not wanting to pause then come back to find only one or two pages left. So for me, knowing whether it's long or short is a big help.

As for the subject matter, I LOVED it!

There were a few little typos or grammatical errors which weren't too distracting. However, you know there are a lot of people here who would be happy to proof read teases for other people, especially if English isn't the writer's primary language.

Please, keep up the good work, I look forwared to seeing more from you.

[flyingKiltSlave]

Pretty neat, great pics.

only thing is 'wade' is an act of entering i.e. I will wade into the water.
'wad' is a load or an amount of orgasmic fluid: she was so hot I shot my wad within seconds.

[slutty1]

I thought the pictures for part 1 were really good. The wife character was great, and so were the pics of her with her 'friends.' I would've liked to see an 'illustrated-story' tag, though, since it was really more of an illustrated story than a webtease. (Maybe it's just me, but to me the difference between an illustrated story and a webtease is the instructions.)

Anyway, I liked how the story unfolded, but to be honest the writing was a bit of a problem for me. Take page 2 for example:
"For six months now i have not been able to organism my balls are aching with every heartbeat today she said since it was the six month anniversary she had something special planed i pray that means that my torment is over..."

That's like 4 sentences in 1, and you're hoping she has an organism planed. I'm guessing you used a spell-checker, but a proof-reader surely would've done a better job than MS Word!

[storydejour]

Pretty neat, great pics.

only thing is 'wade' is an act of entering i.e. I will wade into the water.
'wad' is a load or an amount of orgasmic fluid: she was so hot I shot my wad within seconds.

I thought it was just a typo or misspelled word for "wad" also, and it didn't appear too much in part one, so I didn't have a problem with it. Hoever, in part two, the word "wade" is used a lot of times, and it doesn't always appear in places where "wad" would be used (at least in my opinion.) So now I'm wondering if you might be wanting another word there altogether.

No offense but if English isn't your primary language, we might be able to help you find the right word, and it would be an excuse for me to go through it again.

[desperate]

great tease. the first one made me open an accout to respond.

i really didn't know the ending till it was over. i like how the wife stays the same in the second, hope she returns. would like to have to do something as i go imagining i am the husband. love reading them anyway though, i just put myself in a device and read