How do you weigh someone's balls?

[Mental slut]

I just saw some teases call the size of a person's balls into question after they had been neglected and sexually frustrated. I thought to myself, how could you measure that? Sure, there's always telling by sight, but scientifically speaking, how could one calculate the weight of one's sexual frustration?

Bonus question: How could you measure the volume of someone's balls (please don't say using a tub, because that would take forever)?

[caphalor42]

It is not very practical, but in principle you can exploit the buoyant force (I hope this is the correct translations for "Auftriebskraft"). Put a bowl of water on a scale. If you put your finger/balls/whatever in the water there will be a buoyant force acting on the finger. This force is proportional to the volume of your finger (it is as big as the weight force of the displaced water). As actio=reactio there will be a counter force to the buoyant force which can be measured with the scale...

[RylehDawn]

Much better than my idea: weigh the guy, cut his balls off, and weigh him again. The first measurement minus the second will be the weight of his balls.

[storydejour]

Much better than my idea: weigh the guy, cut his balls off, and weigh him again. The first measurement minus the second will be the weight of his balls.

Of course a much easier way would be to weigh the balls, so I assume you either (1) are joking, or (2) work for the government.

[Mental slut]

Thanks for the tip, caphalor42! That's actually pretty useful. As for RylehDawn's tip- not so much. Funny. If you do work for the government, though, I just want to point out that, despite Obama's slogan, no, you can't.

They do say great minds think alike, storydejour. I did try that method, but, unfortunately, it's not that simple. There's getting the special scale, and getting your body where you're not leaning into it, and finding a countertop so you're not doing the splits or standing on your tip toes like you're doing a pirouette, and that doesn't make for accurate readings.

Thanks so much for the tips, everyone! If anyone thinks of anything else, including the bonus question, please do post.

[Handcuffed]

If you had an ultra-fine scale you could easily measure the weight of the balls by having the man rest them on the scale.

To measure the volume you could get a small container and fill it with water, then measure the displacement when the balls are inserted.

[genejoker]

It may help for the volume measurement if you get a hairtie (the same one each time) and wrapping the balls so they are a) taut against the scrotum and b) well seperated from the body. Get you more accurate results. Also it's just fun!

[Mental slut]

I know it's been a long while since I posted something here last, but I just wanted to say thank you for all the people who gave me such lovely advice.