My first tease

[ap and jp]

I recently made my first tease and would love to hear some feedback

http://www.milovana.com/webteases/showtease.php?id=8611

Thanks to everyone in advance

[camipco]

I liked your tease, I rated it a four (I very rarely rate fives).

Things I liked - great model, clear instructions, a reasonable amount to do per image.

When you mean "you are" the correct spelling is "you're". "Your" is possessive. On page three, for example, it should be "once you're on the edge worship my ass by holding your edge".

In my opinion, the tease could be a little longer and slower to the punch. Page 3 is a little fast, I find, for a first edge. Why not separate some of the edges with some teasing talk, some nipple play, or something.

Anyway, all in all a great tease, and thanks for writing it!

[ap and jp]

Thanks campico, I appreciate your comments and I'm happy to hear you liked it

[motsel]

Nice first tease and great choice of model.