FB: The Ultimatum
- Trusfrated
- Explorer At Heart
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FB: The Ultimatum
Please use this thread for feedback regarding my tease series called "The Ultimatum."
Any and all comments, constructive criticism, and bug reports are welcome.
Many thanks to Philo for the Offline Editor and to the countless other Milovana authors who inspired me to finally try my hand at one of these. Your contributions are appreciated.
Online Milovana versions:
Part 1: http://www.milovana.com/webteases/showf ... p?id=25256
Part 2: http://www.milovana.com/webteases/showf ... p?id=25751
Part 3: http://www.milovana.com/webteases/showf ... p?id=29834
Offline TeaseMe/GuideMe HD versions:
Part 1: https://mega.co.nz/#!0RpSARpC!RYI4SQgpI ... YgM0ng00TM
Part 2: https://mega.co.nz/#!JVIEXCqI!tqk3WS-mC ... 3pQ4jDXpl8
Part 3: https://mega.co.nz/#!RUxjyKwb!eTCJymjUl ... nVaNNKV9dA
Any and all comments, constructive criticism, and bug reports are welcome.
Many thanks to Philo for the Offline Editor and to the countless other Milovana authors who inspired me to finally try my hand at one of these. Your contributions are appreciated.
Online Milovana versions:
Part 1: http://www.milovana.com/webteases/showf ... p?id=25256
Part 2: http://www.milovana.com/webteases/showf ... p?id=25751
Part 3: http://www.milovana.com/webteases/showf ... p?id=29834
Offline TeaseMe/GuideMe HD versions:
Part 1: https://mega.co.nz/#!0RpSARpC!RYI4SQgpI ... YgM0ng00TM
Part 2: https://mega.co.nz/#!JVIEXCqI!tqk3WS-mC ... 3pQ4jDXpl8
Part 3: https://mega.co.nz/#!RUxjyKwb!eTCJymjUl ... nVaNNKV9dA
Last edited by Trusfrated on Tue May 26, 2015 1:36 am, edited 6 times in total.
- elvisomar
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Re: FB: The Ultimatum
Very good! I'm hoping that the session with the doctor is posted soon! Thank you, and well done.
- Trusfrated
- Explorer At Heart
- Posts: 450
- Joined: Mon Nov 08, 2010 8:41 am
- Gender: Male
Re: FB: The Ultimatum
Thanks for the kind comments, elvisomar. The second part is mostly done, but still needs some editing. I won't say how soon, because my time for writing is limited. Hopefully, it will be worth the wait.
If anyone is interested in a TeaseMe/GuideMe offline version with pictures of slightly higher resolution, you may download it here:
https://mega.co.nz/#!0RpSARpC!RYI4SQgpI ... YgM0ng00TM
If anyone is interested in a TeaseMe/GuideMe offline version with pictures of slightly higher resolution, you may download it here:
https://mega.co.nz/#!0RpSARpC!RYI4SQgpI ... YgM0ng00TM
Last edited by Trusfrated on Wed Apr 23, 2014 8:02 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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- Curious Newbie
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Re: FB: The Ultimatum
really good tease :) hope to try the new one soon
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- Explorer At Heart
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Re: FB: The Ultimatum
Thanks for the compliment, it is why I released it to encourage more teases to be written.Trusfrated wrote:Please use this thread for feedback regarding my tease called "The Ultimatum."
The first part is here: http://www.milovana.com/webteases/showf ... p?id=25256
Any and all comments, constructive criticism, and bug reports are welcome.
Many thanks to Philo for the Offline Editor and to the countless other Milovana authors who inspired me to finally try my hand at one of these. Your contributions are appreciated.
(You might want to look at my signature if you want a more concrete way of thanking me )
GuideMe
viewtopic.php?f=26&t=12944
viewtopic.php?f=26&t=12944
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- Explorer
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Re: FB: The Ultimatum
Loved the tease, cannot wait for the next installment.
- leetitoldu
- Explorer
- Posts: 31
- Joined: Thu Sep 26, 2013 1:16 pm
Re: FB: The Ultimatum
superb tease only too short.. im waitng for another parts
- targitai
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Re: FB: The Ultimatum
Great tease, I loved, even though that left me with restless blue balls. I look forward to continue and be allowed to cum finally.
Likes: light pain, padlock on balls, ball slapping, shoelace, edging, teasing, kneeling, being dominated, nipple clamps (pegs), metronome, porn, boobs
OK: edge holding, light spanking,
Dislikes: pegs on genitals, hard cbt, hard pain, face slapping, pics
Turn-offs: ruined orgasm, cum eating
Limits: anal, piss, blood, puke, scat, wet & messy, permanent, public, face pics, other people, blackmail, financial domination
OK: edge holding, light spanking,
Dislikes: pegs on genitals, hard cbt, hard pain, face slapping, pics
Turn-offs: ruined orgasm, cum eating
Limits: anal, piss, blood, puke, scat, wet & messy, permanent, public, face pics, other people, blackmail, financial domination
- allday3
- Explorer
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Re: FB: The Ultimatum
Great tease!! Cannot wait for the second part :)
Just looking to increase and enhance my sexual satisfaction and enjoyment!
- Trusfrated
- Explorer At Heart
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- Joined: Mon Nov 08, 2010 8:41 am
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Re: FB: The Ultimatum
Thanks, everyone, for the positive feedback! It really is appreciated.
The Ultimatum, Part 2 has now been published; I hope you enjoy it as well.
For your convenience, I've updated the first post in this thread with links to the regular and offline versions of each part.
If you have time, let me know what you liked (or didn't like) about this one. Of course, please use spoiler tags as you see fit. Thanks!
The Ultimatum, Part 2 has now been published; I hope you enjoy it as well.
For your convenience, I've updated the first post in this thread with links to the regular and offline versions of each part.
If you have time, let me know what you liked (or didn't like) about this one. Of course, please use spoiler tags as you see fit. Thanks!
- arthurb
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Re: FB: The Ultimatum
Part 2 is superb!
I love the scenario. I hope you keep this going.
I love the scenario. I hope you keep this going.
Princess Penny's Subject Number 007
On Her Highness's Submissive Service
On Her Highness's Submissive Service
Re: FB: The Ultimatum
Just perfect! Thank you!
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- Explorer At Heart
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Re: FB: The Ultimatum
I really liked Part 1, but was somewhat disappointed with Part 2
I like the story and premise, but there was not enough teasing action for me. I started getting bored going from scene to scene. I do appreciate all the effort people put into teases, so sorry to have a less than 5 star opinion.
I like the story and premise, but there was not enough teasing action for me. I started getting bored going from scene to scene. I do appreciate all the effort people put into teases, so sorry to have a less than 5 star opinion.
- Trusfrated
- Explorer At Heart
- Posts: 450
- Joined: Mon Nov 08, 2010 8:41 am
- Gender: Male
Re: FB: The Ultimatum
Kurdt57 wrote:Just perfect! Thank you!
Great! I'm glad you both liked it! I'm pretty sure it will go on for at least a couple more episodes. I have a longer story outlined, but unfortunately I'm pretty slow to finish them (I started a year ago) so I may take a break and try telling a different story at some point. Your appreciation is motivation.arthurb wrote:Part 2 is superb!
I love the scenario. I hope you keep this going.
Thanks for that honest feedback, anonymister. Does "teasing action"=stroking? I expected that some may not like some of the "conversational" aspects of the story, and I completely understand that. After all, if we're not stroking, aren't we just waiting for our next chance to stroke? There are some teases that are more or less "pure" stroking (with little or no story), and they have their place here just as teases with more of a narrative do.anonymister wrote:I really liked Part 1, but was somewhat disappointed with Part 2
I like the story and premise, but there was not enough teasing action for me. I started getting bored going from scene to scene. I do appreciate all the effort people put into teases, so sorry to have a less than 5 star opinion.
I guess what I'm trying to say, is that as I write, I tend to struggle with how to tell the story while still adding plenty of opportunities for stroking. Maybe my problem is exposition? I noticed that maybe I explain things in greater detail than necessary (see this post for example, lol) and that perhaps slows down the "action" too much. The simple fact is that it's difficult to have a realistic scenario with different scenes and characters and be stroking all the time. There's many teases that pull this off (such as the Happy Edging and Twisty's Holidays series as of late) but it's a lot of work and I have a great amount of respect for the writers that do.
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- Explorer At Heart
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Re: FB: The Ultimatum
Yes, perhaps slightly less detail would be better (for me). But no need to cut much. And/or you could add a stroking requirement as a last sentence on some of the pages. Tack on "Give me 20 strokes while you think about what I am telling you"
or "Give me 1 edge while you consider your behavior"
I definitely don't mean to suggest any big changes would suit me better ... And I may be a minority opinion.
or "Give me 1 edge while you consider your behavior"
I definitely don't mean to suggest any big changes would suit me better ... And I may be a minority opinion.
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